Oh What A Day

Today was rather eventful at Sinclair, so today's post will have multiple quotes and the story of the guy who face planted a light pole. All things were said/happened in the courtyard outside buildings 7, 6, 5, etc.

First up.

Some girl in Cincinnati needs to file a restraining order, call the police now, or just move out of town, because she apparently really, really, really, really, really pissed this chick off.

This black girl comes out of Building 7, on her phone, screaming at the person on the other end.

Girl: "Bitch! Yo' ass is fuckin' dead when I get a hold of you. I'm going to beat your ass so bad and kick your fat, pregnant, slut stomach, if you ain't dead from it, yo' baby will be."

Holy. Shit. She had the entire courtyard looking at her, and we were all thinking the same thing. "Damn...What the fuck did the other bitch do?"


Next contestant.

Douchebag of the year award goes to the guy that wears 3 pairs of shorts and sags each one in layers. Not only does he look like a douche, he was walking up on every hot chick and saying...

Douchebag: "Wad'up shawty. Damn you look good. Lemme get dat numba."

When they would ignore him or laugh at him, he would say, "Maaaaaaan, you ain't nuttin but a stuck up ho."

The best part, was when the girl next to me commented on the guy.

Girl: "A douchebag that big could cleanse a whales vagina."

I need to start carrying around Gold Stars to hand out to people like her.


Facial Recognition.

Now for the story that I posted earlier on Facebook. Face meets light pole.

Overly excited? Not paying to close attention? Wicked bad blind spot? You be the judge.

I'm enjoying my cancer stick, along with about 40 other people in the courtyard, when we all hear, "OH MY GOD!".

Everyone turns to see this guy running towards this girl. He was running to hug her, as apparently they hadn't seen each other in a long time.

As he approached her, he ran up the 3 steps to the top of the square in the middle of the courtyard, and immediately slammed his face into the light pole in front of her.

This all happened in slow motion. Kind of like in the movies where something awesome is about to happen and they slow it down. Everyone is cheering and anticipating the big finale, people are hugging, high fiving, etc. That magical moment where everyone is happy. That's exactly how it happened. Time just slowed down and we all watched with joy as he got closer and closer to the pole...BAM!

Best part, his face actually dented the pole.

I got a chance to talk to him when he came back from I'm guessing the nurses office. He received a mild concussion and was going to the hospital to make sure it doesn't get any worse.

Common Knowledge Isn't Common Anymore

Another "Last Resort" candidate for my Sinclair Dating Service.

I, along with about 30 others, was fortunate enough to overhear a breakup happening in Building 5 today.

I'll skip the boring parts and dive directly into the juicy bit.

Guy: "Why did you cheat on me?"
Girl: "If I knew sleeping with him would piss you off, I wouldn't have done it."

This Car Is Trashed

Today, I don't have an overheard, but I do have a "saw".

I deliver pizzas and my car gets pretty messy with receipts, crushed packs of cigarettes, etc, but this is just insane. Walking through the parking lot, I saw this minivan.

Someone call A&E.

Not Tonight, Dear

Sometimes you can't tell if someone is being genuine or not. Typically, if someone is asking you "How are you?", or "Are you okay?", one would presume that they are genuinely interested in knowing the answer.

Such wasn't the case today for this girl.

She was sitting against the wall outside of a classroom by herself. She had a sad look on her face and you can tell she just got done crying by the redness around her eyes and that they were a little puffy.

A guy went over to her and started talking to her.

Guy: "Are you okay?"
Girl: "I have a really bad headache right now."
Guy: "I didn't ask if you wanted to have sex, I just asked if you were okay."

While that may be a heartless joke, that is a very smart joke, and I applaud him on it's cleverness.

The Pot Calling The Kettle Black

Some people are just clueless. How they have survived their entire lives, is a fucking enigma.

I stopped by the Tartan Sub Shoppe to grab a quick bite to eat between classes. In front of me were 2 girls. The skinny girl got a Skyline coney, and the heavy girl got a sub.

Heavy girl: "You shouldn't eat that. It's unhealthy."

Now under most circumstances, what she said is accurate and isn't funny or disturbing. Unless you find it funny that the heavy person is trying to convince the skinny person what is healthier to eat.

But what makes this both funny and disturbing, is that while saying "You shouldn't eat that. It's unhealthy", she smeared about 10x's more mayonnaise than should be legally allowed to be used on her sub.

Oral Sophistication

The traditional late post for Tuesday.

Whores always have the best conversations. At least that's been my experience listening to them.

This little tidbit comes from a girl walking out of her Dental class. Her and another girl were talking about why they chose the Dental career path. Almost gave the girl my number.

Girl 1: "I took Dental because it's good money."
Girl 2: "I took Dental because since so many people have been in my mouth, I figured it was my turn to return the favor."

Psych Trip

I've heard this quote used before, but I don't think most of you have. Though I could be wrong, but either way, it's worth repeating.

What makes the quote worthy of repeating, is that it was used by a Psych teacher who was lecturing to his class. In the process, he reveals a little about his past life choices.

I'll sometimes visit the Psych building and listen in on some of the classes. It's fun to listen to how they think they have a grasp on the complexity of the mind and mental functions regarding mental health. But this time, I got reminded of this quote and had a good chuckle.

Teacher: "In the 60's we used acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make the world normal."