The Pot Calling The Kettle Black

Some people are just clueless. How they have survived their entire lives, is a fucking enigma.

I stopped by the Tartan Sub Shoppe to grab a quick bite to eat between classes. In front of me were 2 girls. The skinny girl got a Skyline coney, and the heavy girl got a sub.

Heavy girl: "You shouldn't eat that. It's unhealthy."

Now under most circumstances, what she said is accurate and isn't funny or disturbing. Unless you find it funny that the heavy person is trying to convince the skinny person what is healthier to eat.

But what makes this both funny and disturbing, is that while saying "You shouldn't eat that. It's unhealthy", she smeared about 10x's more mayonnaise than should be legally allowed to be used on her sub.

Oral Sophistication

The traditional late post for Tuesday.

Whores always have the best conversations. At least that's been my experience listening to them.

This little tidbit comes from a girl walking out of her Dental class. Her and another girl were talking about why they chose the Dental career path. Almost gave the girl my number.

Girl 1: "I took Dental because it's good money."
Girl 2: "I took Dental because since so many people have been in my mouth, I figured it was my turn to return the favor."

Psych Trip

I've heard this quote used before, but I don't think most of you have. Though I could be wrong, but either way, it's worth repeating.

What makes the quote worthy of repeating, is that it was used by a Psych teacher who was lecturing to his class. In the process, he reveals a little about his past life choices.

I'll sometimes visit the Psych building and listen in on some of the classes. It's fun to listen to how they think they have a grasp on the complexity of the mind and mental functions regarding mental health. But this time, I got reminded of this quote and had a good chuckle.

Teacher: "In the 60's we used acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make the world normal."

Whitney Finally Wins

I have a warped, twisted, rather deranged sense of humor. I also have little sympathy for a drug user that overdoses or dies while intoxicated. So when the recent news that Whitney Houston was found dead in a hotel room, I didn't flinch, as it was inevitable.

Now back to my warped sense of humor, I heard a guy in the hallway talking about the death, and he made a quip that damn near had me in tears.

Guy: "Whitney beat Bobby Brown to death."

Give that man an award.

What About Lettuce And Tomato?

I have no back-story to this one. I heard it as I walked around the corner on the way to my car and all I heard was the answer, which makes me want to know what the question was.

Guy: "She said no, because she doesn't want mayonnaise in her pants."

How To Tell Who Had A Boring Childhood

I had a little fun today between classes.

On the 1st floor of pretty much every building at Sinclair, there is a lobby area with chairs and tables where students will sit and study, work on homework/projects, or just mingle with others.

As I approached the area, I jumped onto the nearest seat and sat down with my legs under me. I then took my shoulder bag off and "accidentally" dropped it on the ground, and proceeded to say, "Shit!" loud enough for everyone to hear.

When I noticed most of the people looking at me, I looked around at them and said, "The floor is lava."

Immediately, about 6 or 7 people jumped up into a chair, and a few others (who were already sitting) picked their feet up off the ground.

One girl said, "Fucking lava ate my homework!"

The ones who didn't do anything, just stared in disbelief at what they just witnessed.

And that my friends, is how to tell if someone had a boring childhood or not.

2 Fails In 1 Sentence

I am a music buff. As many of you know, I am very well versed when it comes to music knowledge. Try me. Ask any music related question, and I am 9 times out of ten, I'm going to know the answer.

So it saddens me when someone doesn't know something that is common knowledge in music. I don't mean that in some hipster way. I mean that as everyone fucking knows the answer. Something like, knowing that Milli Vanilli lip synced, or Michael Jackson was the King of Pop.

What I heard today almost made me punch the kid that said it, for multiple reasons. Not only does he not know music history, but he also helps keep the social acceptance/progress at a slow pace, when it comes to acceptance.

Guy: "Queen is going to suck now since that faggot Adam Lambert is the new lead singer."

1.) Freddie Mercury was gay.
2.) Sexual preference doesn't matter. Not in music. Not anywhere.

Though I will give the kid partial credit. Queen will definitely suck with Adam Lambert singing. Not because of the gay thing, but because Adam Lambert is not Freddie Mercury.

For those of you that haven't heard, Adam Lambert is joining Queen on a "Tribute Tour" for Freddie Mercury/Queen. He will be performing along side original members guitarist Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor.

Now For Something Completely Different

Unfortunately, there are some days that will not produce a good overheard conversation. So in lieu of an overheard conversation, I will tell a joke.

A wife tells her husband, "Go get those pills that help you get an erection."
The husband goes to pharmacy and gets the pills.
When he got back, the wife asked, "Did you get the pills?"
The husband said, "Oh, I got em".
He then handed his wife the diet pills.

Not Even Close

This conversation wasn't overheard by me. I was a participant in the conversation. But since it was loud enough for other people to hear it, I shall include it in this blog.

A couple NFL teams can be tricky to pinpoint where their hometown is. Especially if you don't follow that team, or are not that big into football. Most are easy, like Cincinnati Bengals, Miami Dolphins, Dallas Cowboys, etc. Some are a bit more tricky. Arizona Cardinals, New York Giants/Jets, Washington Redskins (Many don't know that Washing D.C., not Washington the state, is the home of the Redskins), etc.

The only team that is on the "hard to pinpoint" list for those not familiar, is the New England Patriots, who are in Foxboro, Massachusetts. New England is the combination of the 6 states Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Rhode Island. No need to go into a detailed history lesson, as most of you have the common sense to know about New England and where it is located.

Girl: "Where is the stadium for the Patriots?"
Me: "Foxboro, Massachusetts."
Girl: "Massachusetts? I thought they were in Montana."

Is That Adamantium In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

There are 3 things that the world will never run out of.

1.) Water
2.) Beer
3.) Weird people

3 guys were discussing the X-Men movie series and focusing on the character of Wolverine. Now I like the guy too, but come on.

Guy 1: "Hugh Jackman is the shit. Period."
Guy 2: "He is awesome."
Guy 3: "I would suck Hugh Jackman's dick."