Whitney Finally Wins

I have a warped, twisted, rather deranged sense of humor. I also have little sympathy for a drug user that overdoses or dies while intoxicated. So when the recent news that Whitney Houston was found dead in a hotel room, I didn't flinch, as it was inevitable.

Now back to my warped sense of humor, I heard a guy in the hallway talking about the death, and he made a quip that damn near had me in tears.

Guy: "Whitney beat Bobby Brown to death."

Give that man an award.

What About Lettuce And Tomato?

I have no back-story to this one. I heard it as I walked around the corner on the way to my car and all I heard was the answer, which makes me want to know what the question was.

Guy: "She said no, because she doesn't want mayonnaise in her pants."

How To Tell Who Had A Boring Childhood

I had a little fun today between classes.

On the 1st floor of pretty much every building at Sinclair, there is a lobby area with chairs and tables where students will sit and study, work on homework/projects, or just mingle with others.

As I approached the area, I jumped onto the nearest seat and sat down with my legs under me. I then took my shoulder bag off and "accidentally" dropped it on the ground, and proceeded to say, "Shit!" loud enough for everyone to hear.

When I noticed most of the people looking at me, I looked around at them and said, "The floor is lava."

Immediately, about 6 or 7 people jumped up into a chair, and a few others (who were already sitting) picked their feet up off the ground.

One girl said, "Fucking lava ate my homework!"

The ones who didn't do anything, just stared in disbelief at what they just witnessed.

And that my friends, is how to tell if someone had a boring childhood or not.

2 Fails In 1 Sentence

I am a music buff. As many of you know, I am very well versed when it comes to music knowledge. Try me. Ask any music related question, and I am 9 times out of ten, I'm going to know the answer.

So it saddens me when someone doesn't know something that is common knowledge in music. I don't mean that in some hipster way. I mean that as everyone fucking knows the answer. Something like, knowing that Milli Vanilli lip synced, or Michael Jackson was the King of Pop.

What I heard today almost made me punch the kid that said it, for multiple reasons. Not only does he not know music history, but he also helps keep the social acceptance/progress at a slow pace, when it comes to acceptance.

Guy: "Queen is going to suck now since that faggot Adam Lambert is the new lead singer."

1.) Freddie Mercury was gay.
2.) Sexual preference doesn't matter. Not in music. Not anywhere.

Though I will give the kid partial credit. Queen will definitely suck with Adam Lambert singing. Not because of the gay thing, but because Adam Lambert is not Freddie Mercury.

For those of you that haven't heard, Adam Lambert is joining Queen on a "Tribute Tour" for Freddie Mercury/Queen. He will be performing along side original members guitarist Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor.

Now For Something Completely Different

Unfortunately, there are some days that will not produce a good overheard conversation. So in lieu of an overheard conversation, I will tell a joke.

A wife tells her husband, "Go get those pills that help you get an erection."
The husband goes to pharmacy and gets the pills.
When he got back, the wife asked, "Did you get the pills?"
The husband said, "Oh, I got em".
He then handed his wife the diet pills.

Not Even Close

This conversation wasn't overheard by me. I was a participant in the conversation. But since it was loud enough for other people to hear it, I shall include it in this blog.

A couple NFL teams can be tricky to pinpoint where their hometown is. Especially if you don't follow that team, or are not that big into football. Most are easy, like Cincinnati Bengals, Miami Dolphins, Dallas Cowboys, etc. Some are a bit more tricky. Arizona Cardinals, New York Giants/Jets, Washington Redskins (Many don't know that Washing D.C., not Washington the state, is the home of the Redskins), etc.

The only team that is on the "hard to pinpoint" list for those not familiar, is the New England Patriots, who are in Foxboro, Massachusetts. New England is the combination of the 6 states Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Rhode Island. No need to go into a detailed history lesson, as most of you have the common sense to know about New England and where it is located.

Girl: "Where is the stadium for the Patriots?"
Me: "Foxboro, Massachusetts."
Girl: "Massachusetts? I thought they were in Montana."

Is That Adamantium In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

There are 3 things that the world will never run out of.

1.) Water
2.) Beer
3.) Weird people

3 guys were discussing the X-Men movie series and focusing on the character of Wolverine. Now I like the guy too, but come on.

Guy 1: "Hugh Jackman is the shit. Period."
Guy 2: "He is awesome."
Guy 3: "I would suck Hugh Jackman's dick."